Before and After

This weekend marked my first home improvement project (unless you count frantically unpacking, cleaning or generally freaking out about how you're going to take care of a house as home improvement projects).

What was once a scary weed patch...

...is now a vegetable garden. I have basil, rosemary, parsley, sage, jalapenos, bell peppers, lettuce, kale and tomatoes. 

Given that I have next to no gardening experience, I'm sure at least some of this will die, but I'm really excited to eat food that I grew!

Plus, this is definitely more aesthetically pleasing (at least to me).

On the street. Art Hounds is on. AUGGGHHHHHHH MORE LIKE FART HOUNDS.

... is something Art texted me from our car while waiting for me to get done with work.

Oh Art Hounds, I have such a love-hate relationship with you.

At least I owe the bank money for the next 30 years.

Yeah, remember less than five months ago when I was all "Renting for life, everybody! It's the best!" Well, we bought a house and have been officially living in it for a week as of today.

Whoops.

So let's review the reasons I said renting is fantastic so I can figure out if we made a huge mistake:

1. The ability to pick up our lives and move. Yeah, we've lost that. It's not that we really had any intention of leaving any time soon, but there is definitely a bit more of a feeling of "Yeah, we REALLY live in this community."
2. Never having to mow a lawn, shovel a sidewalk, remove leaves from a gutter or deal with a basement flood. This is still terrifying, though Art seems to love mowing our tiny lawn.
3. Having cash on hand. Yeah, that would be nice.
4. Not having to deal with interior decorating. I am still not into this and am not sure if I ever will be. Luckily we haven't had to do all that much yet.
5. Predictable living expenses. This is another thing that's still terrifying. I guess we'll figure it out over the next few months?
6. Living in a great old building. Still true! Our house is a bit newer (1935) than our apartment was (1920s), but we've got some serious charm going on.
7. Staying out of the suburbs. Mission accomplished! (We're still in Minneapolis.)

I'd say it's still up in the air whether this was a terrible, terrible idea. But at least our basement has beer on tap, so come on over!

Wedding Gift

This is one of the many reasons that Stephanie is an awesome friend. After taking care of our cats all week while we were on our honeymoon (and then letting us crash her Saturday night to grab our keys because our other set was in our mishandled luggage), we came home to find she had left this message on our refrigerator:




(Please note that the "I <3 Art" message is from Art's sister, not Stephanie. That part would be creepy.)

How to Plan a Wedding without Losing Your Mind (or being an Asshole)

In 2011, Art and I attended ten (that's right, ten) weddings between the two of us, then on January 21, got married ourselves. Now weddings, as I've written about before, can make you crazy, so I thought I'd pass along some things I learned during the process.

Remind yourself (over and over), that it's just a party.

Because that's all it really is. While marriage is a big, scary hairy deal, a wedding is a fun party to celebrate making the decision to take on that big scary mess with (hopefully) the support of a bunch of people who love you and the person you're marrying. So have fun.

People who pay have a say.

If you're going to accept money from other people to pay for your wedding, you're also going to have to accept their input, so be prepared for that. That's not to say you should compromise on every single thing you had envisioned for the day, but don't forget to throw a bone to the people who are shelling out a lot of money for the event. For example, if you don't love daisies and your mother insists on them, suck it up and put some damn daisies in the bouquet (and some extra ones in her corsage). If that doesn't sound like it's going to work (say, the person who would be paying insists on your fiance converting to a different religion or something else that's not acceptable to you), pay for the wedding yourself.

Be grateful for the help you're getting, no matter how big or small.

Or, as my father said during his wedding toast, "Don't be an asshole."

Get clear budget guidelines, then take the money and run.

If you are going to be receiving help paying for the wedding, try to get some really clear boundaries around what that help looks like (and what, if any, strings are attached). Don't assume you're on the same page and start throwing down nonrefundable deposits. Now, I don't know how Art and I got so lucky, but if you can get the people helping you to just give you the money upfront and wish you luck, think of it as the best wedding present you could ever receive. Unless you're super into going over every line item of your budget and negotiating/questioning it with your parents every week sounds like a fun time to you.

Set the guest list first.

Now that you've gotten all that awkward talking about money done and figured out what your budget will be, decide whom you're going to invite. There really isn't too much you can do, planning-wise, until you know how many people are going to be there, and you really don't want to have to go through the frustration of booking a reception hall only to realize it's too small or you can't afford the cost per plate with the size of your guest list.

Then pare that list down.

The rule of thumb we tried to use was that if we hadn't seen someone in over a year or they hadn't met both of us, think twice. There were, of course, exceptions to this rule, but it really helped us think clearly about who it was important to have in the room on that day. Also, paring the list down will inevitably come in handy when all those people paying (who, remember, have a say), have additions to make.

Pick a few "big ticket" items that are important to you and let the rest go.

When you start planning a wedding, you discover that there are an infinite numbers of ways you can spend money on that wedding. Assuming you don't have an infinite amount of money to spend, some of those things are going to have to go, and deciding what they're going to be and putting them out of your mind early saves a lot of stress. Also, I think doing a few things really well makes for a more fun party. For me and Art, what was important to us was getting a photographer we loved, providing transportation to our guests, and having something the guests could drink for free (that something being Premium and boxed wine; we're not fancy) all night. Everyone's priorities are different; just figure out what yours are and stick to your guns.

If something isn't making the party more enjoyable for you or your guests, nix it.

If having something like centerpieces is stressing you out, just don't have them. I promise your guests won't care (or even notice).

Put some wiggle room in your budget.

I used to plan events for a living, and whenever I was quoted a price for something, I added 30% in my head. There are hidden fees and unexpected budget mishaps everywhere. Having a cushion makes it a lot less stressful when something unexpected happens.

No matter how hard you try, somebody is going to think you're doing it wrong.

Things you think are no big deal are going to horrify some people, and that's okay. There's no way you're going to please every single person there, and I'm pretty sure people who get offended by say, there not being a bouquet toss, probably have too much time on their hands. If you really think something nontraditional you're planning is going to cause an uproar, just don't tell people about it. On the day of, they'll either not notice it or get over it.

Your wedding party is composed of people. Treat them as such.

When you asked your friends and family members to participate in your wedding, it was probably because they are important people in your life you wanted to share a very important moment with, correct? So they're honored guests, not slaves, right? Got it? Okay. That being said...

People really do want to help you.

So accept that help. I was really terrible about this, but a lot of people are actually pleased, even honored, to be asked to do something. So you wanted a photo slide show but don't have a scanner? Don't have time to lay out your programs? Someone else can own that. (But then don't be an anal retentive, nitpicky jerk about the results. If you're an anal retentive, nitpicky jerk, you're probably better off doing everything yourself.)

Be creative about cutting corners.

And by "cutting corners," I mean both in the amount of money you're spending and the amount of work you have to do. Not only did I save money by using our dessert as our centerpiece (and serving cupcakes instead of a cake that needed to be sliced, avoiding hundreds of dollars in plating fees), but I didn't have to worry about centerpieces, which I didn't really care about.

So there you have it. Hopefully this helps a few people out there retain their sanity during what is both a very happy and very stressful time in their lives. Now on to drinking all the beer some of our amazing guests got us as a wedding gift...

I Love Renting

Over the past few months, Art and I have been toying with the idea of buying a house when our lease is up this summer. For a variety of reasons, not the least of them being my extreme caution when it comes to major life decisions, we decided that 2012 just isn't our year for home ownership.

Therefore, I'm embracing the things that are great about being a renter and thought I might write some of them down. Now, this isn't an attack on home ownership or home owners; it's something I look forward to. When I'm ready. But renting is pretty awesome too. Here are some of the things that I love about it:

1. The ability to pick up our lives and move. Not that we would or anything. Minneapolis is pretty great. But we could if we wanted to without taking a huge financial hit.
   
   
2. Never having to mow a lawn, shovel a sidewalk, remove leaves from a gutter or deal with a basement flood. There's a lot to be said for those sorts of things not being your problem. Hell, I felt like a burden was lifted when we no longer had to deal with maintenance on a second car, and houses are a lot more work than that.
   
   
3. Having cash on hand. Not that we'd spend it or anything (remember that overly cautious nature?), but, like picking up and moving, we could spend our money on something else. Or, if there were some sort of emergency, all of our cash wouldn't be tied up in a house that may or may not be able to be sold.
   
   
4. Not having to deal with interior decorating. Now, I know this is a big reason that people love owning, the ability to make the place you live your own, but doing that is also very stressful. And expensive. Not being expected to have a wall color that matches my personality, to me, is a little less (self-imposed) pressure in life.
   
   
5. Predictable living expenses. Rent is hands down our biggest monthly expense, and it gives me peace of mind that the amount it's going to cost to keep a roof over our heads is going to be the exact same amount every month, regardless of whether or not the hot water heater explodes.
   
   
6. Living in a great old building. Our apartment is 100 years old. I love it. It's full of charm and built-in storage. The walls also may or may not be full of bats. The building is wonderful, but if I was in the market to buy, we wouldn't be buying a house this old. The challenge of the upkeep (especially since neither of us is particularly handy) just seems a little too daunting.
   
   
7. Staying out of the suburbs. We have every intention of, when we buy, staying in the city, but I get nervous that the "so much more for your money" lure might call us away. That terrifies me. Probably irrationally. But buying a house just feels so long term that choosing a physical location we don't like could turn into a big, hairy mess.
   

Awesome Stuff about Sharing a Car

Ever since Art and I decided to become a one-car family last month, we've been riding to work together in the morning. Art works in downtown St. Paul, where parking anywhere nearby is prohibitively expensive (one of the many reasons selling a car started to make sense to us in the first place), so he rides with me to my office in downtown Minneapolis (which, for some odd reason, does have ample parking) and catches the express bus between the two downtowns.

I love this arrangement, but I don't think I realized just how much until Art worked from home this morning and I drove into the office without him.

Here are the reasons having Art in the car with me in the morning is wonderful:

1. Peer pressure not to be lazy. When someone else depends on you to get where he needs to be in the morning, you add a little hustle into your routine and often actually get to work at the time you intended.
   
   
2. Windshield ice scraping tag team! Who wouldn't love this unpleasant task to be over in half the time?
   
   
3. Someone to double check my blind spot in rush hour. Did you guys know people drive like jerks in the morning?
   
   
4. Carpool lane. Can't beat driving faster than everyone else while feeling vaguely superior to them.
   
   
5. Extra hangout time. Having fifteen minutes to chat about whatever you like (instead of the last time we see each other in the morning being a mad dash out the door because we're both late) is really pleasant.
   

The Worst Thing About My New Job

So I love my new job, but the bathroom situation is a bit, well, regrettable. I mean, it's nothing like what Jess is dealing with, but I've got some issues going on:

1. It's always 15 degrees colder in there than anywhere else in the office. Not somewhere you really want to pull down your pants.
   
   
2. The walls are all covered in metal. Which is kind of the same thing as A WALL OF MIRRORS at a time when you're, you know, not interested in looking at yourself in the mirror.
   
   
3. The stall installation is full of large multi-inch gaps, forcing that situation where you're totally catching glimpses of people as you walk down the row of stalls even though you're trying your best not to, then later pretending it didn't happen when you're at the sink washing your hands.
   

It's making me nostalgic for the days when I worked with Stephanie. We may not have liked our jobs, but there were private bathrooms. With doors that went all the way down to the floor.

What I've Been Up to While Not Blogging

1. Ladycamping with schnapps.
   
   
2. Becoming a one car family.
   
   
3. Being a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding.
   
   
4. Finishing (and setting a personal record in) that half marathon.
   
   
5. Quitting my job.
   
   
6. Starting a new job one week after Art started a new job of his own.
   
   
7. Hosting Thanksgiving dinner.
   
   
8. Wrapping up the planning of a wedding that's less than 7 weeks away.
   

So, you know, a lot of change happening over here. How have you all been?

Half Marathon . . . This Time Featuring Art!

Well, I've signed up for another half marathon, the Monster Dash, and Art's going to be doing it with me. Hooray for having someone to peer pressure you to stick to your training plan!

I wasn't sure how much running we'd actually being doing together... if we'd actually like running together or how our paces would match up, but so far I've really been enjoying it. A few times I've left him behind for the last quarter mile or so, aching to just get those last few blocks done so I can stop. Last night for the first time, he wanted to leave me in the dust. He's getting faster. Generally, though, we're good running buddies, even though I fear he will soon outpace me. He's far more built for speed than I am. I am built for plodding along for a very, very long time.

I'm also back on dailymile (and got Art to join!), which is great for keeping me honest about my training. Plus it never hurts to have some nice people remind you that you can do it when you decide you can't.

Speaking of thinking I can't do things, back in October, I announced I was going to run the Twin Cities Marathon, which is clearly not happening, at least not this year. I can't decide if I chickened out because I was afraid of the time commitment or not being able to it. Probably both.

Sigh, maybe next year.